Payne & Associates, PLLC

Divorce can be relatively quick and painless, or it can become a contentious, drawn-out battle that depletes the mental and emotional health of the parties involved, to say nothing of their bank accounts. The outcome of your divorce is partially up to you and partially up to your former spouse.

The more pragmatic you are in your approach to divorce, the faster and less expensive it becomes. That is why you should develop a strategic focus when you begin planning for your divorce. You need to determine what outcomes and considerations are the most important to you.

Have you set specific goals?

Do you want to retain decision-making authority over your children to ensure that they remain part of your religion? Is retaining possession of your family home or perhaps vacation house the most important thing? Do you have a dog or cat that you absolutely want to retain in the divorce?

All of these considerations and more should inform how you approach divorce. Staying focused on what matters the most to you can help you succeed in achieving your goals and also keep you from making common mistakes.

No one wins in divorce

Too many people think of divorce as an adversarial process with a winner and a loser. In reality, neither party is either going to win or lose in the divorce proceedings. What they will both receive is freedom to begin a newer, happier life. The courts will also determine what is a fair and reasonable way to split up your child custody, as well as your assets and debts.

There is no such thing as a winner-take-all divorce. Even if you have an ironclad and terribly biased prenuptial agreement on record, if it heavily favors one spouse over the other, the courts may very well throw it out. The end result of a divorce should be fair to both parties, even if neither spouse feels like the resolution is what they wanted.

Focusing on your goals can help you avoid needless expense

If you intend to litigate every single possession and aspect of your parenting plan, you will likely invest a small fortune in divorce proceedings. If, on the other hand, you are willing to work with your ex in mediation or focus solely on the few issues that matter most to you, you can likely keep the divorce from becoming a protracted nightmare. You may even be able to file an uncontested divorce.

Even if mediation isn't an option, holding your ground in your divorce strategy on the issues that matter to you can help you obtain the outcome you most want without rehashing every negative aspect of your marriage. Of course, every family and divorce scenario is unique.

There is no cut-and-dried answer to the best way to approach a divorce. Instead, you should consider speaking with an experienced family law attorney who can help you figure out your own goals and the right strategy to achieve them as you look toward beginning a new chapter in your life.

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Payne & Associates, PLLC
206 North Spruce Street, Suite 1B
Winston Salem, NC 27101

Phone: 336-283-2937
Fax: 336-217-8784
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