Payne & Associates, PLLC

You wanted to get a divorce but you spouse didn't. You tried to be amicable, and you want to move ahead with the divorce in a calm fashion. Despite your attempts, your spouse completely disregards your attempts to get him or her to go to mediation. In fact, he or she refuses to negotiate at all, and it's drawing out the time your divorce is taking.

What can you do to get your spouse to agree to mediation?

The first step is to talk to him or her about it with the right information. Mediation isn't a situation where he or she will be ganged up on. In fact, the mediator is a third-party moderator who listens to what both of you have to stay. Sometimes, the mediator may agree with you, and sometimes the mediator may agree with your spouse. The point is that the mediator helps guide you both toward a settlement and agreement that works in your case.

If you can't get your spouse to agree on your own, consider asking your friends or family members for assistance. They may be able to deliver information on mediation to your spouse that you can't, or they could convince him or her that it's in his or her best interests to work with you, not against you.

In the case that your spouse simply won't agree to mediation, you can go to court to have a judge rule on the case. This isn't always ideal, because neither of you will have the final say in what happens in your settlement. Instead, the judge determines how everything is divided and even what happens to your children. It's in your best interest, and the interest of your spouse, to work together with your attorneys and a mediator to develop your own settlement.

Source:, "My Spouse Won't Mediate!," accessed April 07, 2017

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Payne & Associates, PLLC
206 North Spruce Street, Suite 1B
Winston Salem, NC 27101

Phone: 336-283-2937
Fax: 336-217-8784
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