Payne & Associates, PLLC

It’s something many married couples can encounter, that feeling that they just can’t stop arguing. Now, arguments in themselves aren’t necessarily a bad thing in a marriage. Occasional arguments are a normal part of a healthy relationship. However, when arguments cease being just an occasional thing, but rather an omnipresent thing in a relationship, it can cause real trouble. It can put significant strain on a married couple’s relationship, perhaps even causing the relationship to no longer be able to go on.

When a married couple can’t seem to stop fighting, one thing they may want to do is carefully look into what might be behind the ongoing nature of their arguments. By identifying the root cause, they may be able to address it, thus ending the argument cycle before it has the chance to do lasting harm to the marriage. There are many things that could be behind on ongoing cycle of arguments among a married couple, including:

  • Spouses being hypercritical of each other.
  • The spouses turning to the silent treatment.
  • Lack of emotional engagement by a spouse.
  • Nagging by a spouse.
  • Unfinished business.
  • Insecurities.
  • A spouse having grown up with parents who fought a lot.
  • Stress from other parts of life.

Now, when a marriage ends up breaking down and going into a divorce, a person may think that they don’t really need to pay any further attention to the argument habits of their spouse and them. After all, when a marriage is ending, it doesn’t matter how much you fight with your spouse anymore, right? However, being mindful of such habits and continuing to take steps to prevent ongoing/unending arguments with one’s spouse could actually still be quite important for an individual as they are getting divorced. How a couple that is getting divorced acts when it comes to arguments can impact many things, including: the contentiousness of the divorce, how much the divorce ends up costing, how long the divorce process ends up taking and (if they have kids) how strong of a co-parenting relationship they will be able to have.

Strategies to prevent unnecessary arguments from arising with the ex are among the things a person could incorporate into their overall approach in a divorce.

Source: The Huffington Post, “7 Not-So-Obvious Reasons You Can’t Stop Fighting With Your Spouse,” Brittany Wong, Oct. 27, 2016

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Payne & Associates, PLLC
206 North Spruce Street, Suite 1B
Winston Salem, NC 27101

Phone: 336-283-2937
Fax: 336-217-8784
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